Monday blues
Listening to: Nothing, really. But the window is open so I hear birds, and kids playing, and the planes going over the house, and the occasional ambulance.
It's Monday. Again.
God, I am so bored that already I've seen every YouTube video there is to see (even YouTube is repeating itself, it's run out of things to serve up that I haven't seen); I've read every newspaper article there is to read, I've made and drank enough coffee to drown a small horse, and I even had a shower at 3pm today, just for SOMETHING TO DO.
And I'm supposed to be working.
I reckon I have ADD, or whatever it's called nowadays. Three of my kids have been diagnosed, I'm sure C. has it too, and seeing as it's heriditary, chances are the kids are positively laced with a touch of the 'tism. I feel sorry for them, I do, because if their struggle to keep focussed on everyday tasks is as hard as mine, then they've a long and windy road ahead of them.
My school reports always said I was a 'dreamer'. I was often absent and lost in thought, somewhere far away. Back in the 70s that was probably endearing - the world needs dreamers after all - but in hindsight what I had, have, was probably full-on ADD. Left undiagnosed for years I've clearly learned to cope and adapt, but I sometimes think it's a miracle I've made it this far.
I find it hard to focus on things. I have lots of grand plans, lots of great ideas and I'll start them but rarely finish them. I get bored of it very quickly, and then move on to something else. Probably the best example of that is photography, something I was mad keen on a while back but which has not lost its sparkle. I think a large part of that is also the fact that I am a bit of a perfectionist (you wouldn't think it looking at me, I'm always in such a state) which means that nothing ever gets done because nothing is ever good enough. So, best to just not start it, or at least complete it, because it's probably just not good enough anyway.
See, I've already lost track of where I am going with this post. Jeez. Fuck it, I'll come back to it.
Possibly.
So, yeah, a boring day sitting behind the screen, staring out the window, wearing the bejaysus out of my CTRL+R keys, looking for some sort of stimulation. Come on Internet, don't let me down now.
Tonight we have visitors coming for dinner, so that's something to look forward to. Also the builder said he'd come around for some reason, no idea why, hopefully to fill in the ditch before the rain comes, otherwise we'll have a moat in the garden.
Oh, joy. Time for a meeting at work. Time to dial in. Now, where did I leave the headphones ....